While I was galivanting around a Minnesota lake this weekend (stupid recession and plane tickets), my brother Joel was graduating. Like for the 27th time in his life. But really, this was his second master’s degree from Stanford, the first being in Electrical Engineering and second being in Public Policy. From here, he plans to join us working scum and run for president or something. Mehler 2012. Get Excited.
Reasons I will endorse Joel Mehler in 2012
– When Joel was in Kindergarten, he stepped up and portrayed Psalty the Singing Songbook in a school play. If you aren’t so fortunate as to be familiar, please google it.
– Joel overcame childhood asthma, including several close calls at the dinner table where he’d laugh so hard he’d start wheezing and coughing in asthmatic arrest, prompting my father to put a ban on all things funny at the table. He spent all sorts of time in the Wesley ER, gaining a true understanding of the healthcare system. But really, he’s a survivor.
– Joel will pull the mom vote. A sizeable number of mothers over the years have requested that Joel marry their daughters. I’ve even entertained the thought of generating some cash by starting an online dating site: www.marryjoel.com. Joel’s intellectual crush on Kathleen Parker could hurt business and cause a stir in office, though…
– Joel is fit for the camera and has a face for political photoshoots. He has impeccable taste in all things photogenic and aggressive eye wear. On a side note, I have a scar on my face from where Joel kicked me. But really, he’s photogenic.
– Joel is the official Mehler Whisperer, speaking soothingness into every family conflict we have. He is the cheif mediator and voice of reason. This alone should be sole justification for an appointment to Secretary of State or Ambassador to North Korea.
Some best bets for you: